Believers who are single should view singlehood as a
wonderful state where they are able to serve God wholeheartedly, free from
the concerns of family life and having to please their spouses (1 Corinthians
7: 32-34).
They should not be unduly pressured into getting hitched
although marriage is the norm for most people. Not everyone can be celibate (Matthew 19:10-11).
Through marriage, one becomes intimately connected with a
soul mate, the one with whom you can share your deepest hopes, aspirations,
joys
and fears.
Apart from companionship, marriage is God’s way whereby natural
sexual desires and needs can be fulfilled. Hopefully, it will also protect against
sexual temptation.
However, relieving sexual tension should not be the main motive for getting married.
It is better to deal with the pressure of desire rather than get
hitched to the first person who comes along and then contend with an unhappy
marriage.
In fact, believers should embrace wholeheartedly whatever their
present state — single or married. Take it as an opportunity to glorify God with whatever gifts He has endowed them.
If a potential mate comes along, then one can pray, test
the waters, see whether there is any “chemistry” and wait for God’s timing.
Transiting from singlehood to the married state should be
viewed as positively as remaining single.
Singles should be open to whatever changes God may bring into
their lives, including the possibility of a life partner.
But they should not succumb to societal or family
pressure to get married. Neither should they be preoccupied day and night with
getting married — and miss out on all
the opportunities to live a happy, fulfilled life for God’s glory.
While they are waiting for Mr or Miss Right to appear,
they should go out and enjoy the company of friends. Make new friends in a
group setting, offline. Be actively involved in serving God.
Or even enroll themselves in a Bible study course or various
personal development courses. Travelling and reading also add new insights and
perspectives to life.
They should not be living in the future — what life might
bring — but seize all the opportunities life presents to them in the
present. Carpe diem!
Why are articles like these usually written by married people? It's easy for married people to tell singles that we should view singlehood as a wonderful state when they don't have to go through the pain of wondering, "Will my time ever come?" or "Is this in God's plan for me, and if not, why?" Married people also don't seem to understand how difficult it is for singles to "lose" friends when one by one, most of their friends marry, priorities change, new responsibilities are taken up, and their friends move ahead into a new season of life, seemingly leaving the singles behind.
ReplyDeleteSingleness is not all bad, just like marriage is not all a bed of roses. Singles know this. Most singles I know do live their lives to the fullest, pursuing careers, exploring interests, developing skills and serving God. They don't think that being single is terrible. But they would still love to meet somebody special, if it were possible.
When marrieds give advice and tell singles to be thankful that we're single, or to make the most of it, a lot of the time it sounds smug, condescending or downright insensitive. We know it's not MEANT that way (which is why we just tend to nod and smile politely) but really, it's like a person with a Proton Saga telling a dude with a motorcycle that he should be thankful he gets to weave in and out of traffic jams and appreciate the fact that he gets to spend less on petrol, insurance & road tax so he can save more. The guy on the motorcycle is looking at the dude in the Saga thinking, "Dude, you're not the one getting drenched in the rain... And if it were so wonderful, why aren't you on a motorbike yourself?!"
Sunflower, do you mean a mature, married person cannot dwell on the advantages of being single?
ReplyDeleteWell said.thank you
ReplyDelete