Wednesday 4 July 2012


Full of symbolic meaning, this is carried out during the marriage ceremony in church.

First, mothers of the bridegroom and bride are given a lighted candle each. The bridegroom’s mother lights the candle held by the bridegroom. Similarly, the bride’s mother lights the candle held by the bride. The mothers now extinguish their own candles.

Next, both the bridegroom and bride use their lighted candles to light a centrally placed, much larger candle.

What is the significance behind this act?

Firstly, the fact that the parents (in this case, the mothers represent the parents) light the candles for their children speaks of “leaving and cleaving”.

“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).

By blowing off their candles after lighting the candles for their children, the mothers implicitly give their blessing for their children to start a new family of their own without any interference from the families of their origin. 

The mothers tell them: “We are letting you go to start a new life of your own.”

If such biblical wisdom of “leaving and cleaving” is heeded, then we would not have to face so many problems created by mothers-in-law, which threaten to cause friction and disharmony in the newly created family.

Secondly, the couple no longer see themselves as individuals living out their lives independently but as life partners who are to be “subject to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21).

They have to consider the needs, desires, goals and aspirations of the other party, besides that of their own. *

Marriage is not a 50-50 proposition. Each partner gives his or her all. Stop keeping count: Why I give so much and you give so little?   

Instructions for Christian Households:

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
(Ephesians 5:21-25).

Some Tips for a Happy Marriage:

Marriage should be a duet - when one sings the other claps. - Joe Murray

Marriage resembles a pair of shears so joined that they cannot be separated. Often moving in opposite directions yet always punishing anyone who comes between them. - Sidney Smith

An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have. The older she gets, the more he is interested in her! - Agatha Christie

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Splendour of Love:

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