LITTLE FOXES

“Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom” (Song of Songs 2:15).

The little foxes are often seen as the subtle, little sins or pests that destroy much larger entities.

The fox is a classic symbol of slyness. It is evasive and difficult to catch. Just a few foxes can spoil an entire orchard. The farmer must be vigilant and not allow the foxes to ruin the harvest when the grapes bloom in spring.

Maintaining healthy relationships is difficult because human beings are, by nature, sensitive and vulnerable. A sin of omission or commission can blow up into something big. It may not even amount to sin. It may just be a mistake or weakness.

The relationship may involve couples or friends. The potential for tension can exist in a home, cell group, church, NGO or company.

Couples must have special time out set aside for romance periodically – to rekindle a relationship that often becomes mundane through the years.

When we fail to nurture a relationship, it may be misinterpreted that one is not important in the eyes of the beloved or friend.

Someone may take offence when the other party forgets his or her birthday or anniversary.

A conscientious office worker, passed over for promotion by someone less experienced and more junior, may feel hurt.  

Not inviting someone for weddings or celebrations – when it is only proper that he or she be invited – may leave that person feeling insignificant. “I’m a ‘nobody’ so that’s why they have forgotten me.”

People, in general, want to feel validated, recognised and affirmed.* And that has little to do with pride. It is just part of our psyche – that’s how we are wired. Of course, we must not flatter people in order to mollycoddle their ego.

Relationships between mature individuals work on the principle whereby deposits and withdrawals ** are made with respect to one’s emotional bank. If one party constantly makes withdrawals without making any deposits, the other party may feel aggrieved. “I know it’s coming again. His or her motive for calling me is always the same. He or she wants me to do something for him (or her). I feel he (or she) only likes to use me.”

In these days of mobile technologies and Facebook, connecting offline one-on-one with others has certainly taken a heavy beating. With work pressure, demands of ministry, home and hobbies, the task of building healthy relationships can only get more difficult.


Footnotes:

* The believer, however, must seek God’s approval rather than man’s approval.

** The believer must learn to bear with the weaknesses of the immature and give even when, humanly speaking, it’s difficult. Those with psychological and emotional disorders cannot be expected to give back.

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RELATED POSTS:

THE OFFENSE TRAP:

http://limpohann.blogspot.com/2012/09/the-offense-trap.html

TRAVELLING LIGHT:

http://limpohann.blogspot.com/2012/09/travelling-light.html

MAKING CONNECTIONS THAT MATTER:

http://limpohann.blogspot.com/2012/04/making-connections-that-matter.html

SOUL TIES

What is an ungodly soul tie?

How can one be set free from it?

For a basic introduction, please check out: http://www.greatbiblestudy.com/soulties.php

One of the most common ways by which unholy soul ties are formed is through sexual sin, be it fornication, adultery or homosexuality. The following is an account of such an unholy soul tie, which appeared in the “Dear Goldie” column of Asian Beacon magazine, which is reproduced intact as follows:

Dear Goldie,

My relationship with my husband is rocky sexually and emotionally. Recently it occurred to me it may have to do with what happened in my past. In my adolescence I had several intimate relationships with two boys involving heavy petting. In adulthood I also had a sexual relationship with a man I was going steady with. I find that I am often troubled by lustful thoughts and dreams.  Do you think my past has anything to do with my difficult relationship with my husband?  I have not told my husband anything.

Uneasy

Dear Uneasy,

The possible causes of your present bad marital relationship are many. You may need to speak to your pastor or marriage counsellor for a more detailed consultation. However I believe your sin of fornication is serious indeed and can affect your marriage. God’s word says: “Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh" (1 Cor.6:16). This means that if you have sexual relations with someone, you are united together with that person and become one with them. We call this a soul tie because not only are your bodies joined together, your souls are also bound together. Thus when you have established such a soul tie with anyone other than your spouse, this negative and unhealthy bond will be destructive to your relationship with your husband and may be one of the reasons for your difficulties now.

The good news is that you can be set free from whatever happened in the past and look forward to a new beginning. How? God has provided the solution.

Firstly, forgive the persons who took advantage of you or were involved you in the wrongdoing.  Release forgiveness and you will be released of your burden.

Secondly, repent of your sin of fornication. Ask God to forgive you and He will cleanse you from all unrighteousness as promised in 1 John 1:9. Having your guilt removed and your burden lifted.

Thirdly, use the powerful name of Jesus Christ to cut off all memories of the sights, sounds, smells, places, emotions, words, etc. connected with these incidents. Ask God to remove all these associations with the past so that when anything triggers off these memories you will not be affected any more.

Fourthly, evil spirits may be involved in your moments of sinful pleasure so use the powerful name of Jesus to bind and cast out the spirits of lust, lies, etc. Command them to leave you and protect yourself with all the spiritual weapons at your disposal, including the blood of Jesus, the full armour of God, praise, etc.

Fifthly, sever the soul ties between you and all the people you had sexual relations with. Let your prayers and declarations be done verbally, not only in your mind. Confront evil (show that you mean business) by declaring aloud for the spirits to hear: “In Jesus’ Name, I now renounce and break any ungodly ties formed between myself and xx as a result of our union together through sexual intercourse.”

Any rash vows or commitments made (e.g. “I will love you forever”) should be renounced, repented of and broken in Jesus’ Name. If you have gifts or mementos of these relationships, get rid of them as they are reminders of ungodly practices. Declare like this: “I break and renounce all covenants and relationships that were sealed by the items that xx gave me. I reclaim what was lost and surrender every part of my life to Jesus’ lordship.” When you receive God’s provision of restoration, you will be set free from the past and move ahead in your life.  

Should you confess to your husband about your past? When you have been set free and your relationship improves, seek God’s wisdom on the appropriate time to share with him.