RESIST, FLEE, CELEBRATE,
BE EMPOWERED, RECOGNISE THE HEAVY PRICE OF SEXUAL SIN.
It all began with a lustful gaze
culminating in stolen moments of sensual delight.
At a time
when kings were supposed to lead armies into battle, King David was idling. A naked
lady bathing at the rooftop caught his eye. And the ‘man after God’s own heart’
fell for the charms of another man’s wife.
Like tumbling
dominoes, events unfolded swiftly, moving David from temptation to lust to
adultery and to murder. It is unfathomable that bathrooms then were so open. If
Bathsheba had bathed in an enclosed area, would David be spared such sorrow?
For sure, we
will never know. Suffice to say, this incident warns us of the deadly
consequences of yielding to sexual temptation.
Whereas
temptation also lurks in areas such as money, fame and power, the sexual
variety is especially difficult to resist when we’re caught flat-footed at a vulnerable
moment – when we’re lost, lonely, confused and out of communion with God. Or
idle, as in David’s case.
No wonder
Hollywood bad girl, Mae West, quipped: "I generally avoid temptation
unless I can't resist it."
Temptation
is not necessarily something that swoops down on us like a hawk when we’re vulnerable.
Circumstances may conspire to prompt our moral failure but often we ourselves are
partly to be blamed. The ability of temptation to exert its power over us is actually
decided much earlier – in our hearts.
In the
first place, are we dead serious about preserving our moral purity? Do we fear
God enough to want to honour Him in all areas, including our bodies?
If so, we would
have put in place measures to shore up our defenses even before temptation strikes. So the moment it hits us, we would know
how to deal with it – and hopefully escape unscathed.
How then do
we build our moral reserves?
RESIST
King Lemuel
was taught by his mother not to spend his strength on women, his vigour on those
who ruin kings (Proverbs 31:3).
Elsewhere,
the Bible is replete with warnings against yielding to sexual temptation. How can young men stay on the path of purity? By memorising, delighting
in and meditating on scriptures so that they can live by it (Psalm 119:9-16).
It’s interesting to note that this injunction to young men correlates with normal
physiological functions. Young men have ten times more testosterone (a sex
hormone) than women which accounts for the former’s powerful sex drive. After peaking at early 20’s, male testosterone levels dip
about 1 percent each year. So by the time men reach 50’s, their libido and
performance would have diminished.
But we
should not say, “It’s my hormones that
made me do it” when we yield to temptation. The biblical stance is clear:
There is no provision for any alternative lifestyle* for sexual fulfillment apart
from a monogamous, heterosexual relationship between a man and a woman who are
committed to one another by marriage.
The next time, when temptation strikes, identify with the
truth by confessing aloud: I am the temple of the Holy Spirit. I have
been bought with a price. So I have to glorify God in my body (1 Corinthians
6:19-20). If Jesus confronted satan’s temptations by quoting scriptures, can we
do any less?
FLEE
Not only do
we arm ourselves with the Word and affirm it when tempted, we need to flee from
the scene of temptation. When Joseph was tempted to sleep with Potiphar’s wife
(Genesis 39:7), he fled. Had he lingered on, he wouldn’t have the strength to
resist the wiles of this femme fatale. Many lesser
men had become her victims whenever she batted her eyelids, flicked her
hair and twirled it round her fingers.
There is no
point praying for strength if you are walking towards temptation or indirectly acquiescing to it. You must mean serious business. In practice
this might mean surfing in an open area or clicking away from a sexually
enticing image. Or giving up the habit of frequenting karaoke joints with bad company as this
corrupts good character (1 Corinthians 15:33).
While
temptation is not sin, the line demarcating the two is so thin that it’s wise
to nip it in the bud – while we’re still able to. We cannot stop the birds from
flying over our heads but we can prevent them from nesting on our heads. Leave –
no, you must run – while you’re still strong enough.
CELEBRATE
But it’s
not only about resisting and fleeing from temptation. We are also told to
celebrate the joys of sexual union in marriage. Rather than “embrace the bosom
of an adventuress”, we are exhorted to “drink water from our own cistern”
(Proverbs 5: 15,20).
If intimacy
– sexual and emotional – is lacking in a marriage, the tendency is to look for it
outside.
For men,
this intimacy is mainly sexual in nature; for women, it is predominantly emotional.
If these areas are compromised in a marriage or when familiarity reigns between
the sheets of the marriage bed, the propensity is to dispel the humdrum with
some excitement from outside.
The apostle Paul was down-to-earth and forthright regarding provision of conjugal rights within marriage:
“The wife does not have authority over her own
body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have
authority over his own body but yields it to his wife” (1 Corinthians 7:
4).
A sex-starved spouse is more likely
to be lecherous though this is not absolutely true. Some are so incurably
wayward that they prefer “exotic culinary delights” to “home-cooked food”. They
are constantly thinking of spicy tom yam and how to inject some pizzazz into
their sex lives.
BE EMPOWERED
What if one
has a genuine desire to keep God’s moral law but still has difficulty overcoming
sexual temptation?
By choosing
to “walk by the Spirit”, one will not
gratify the desires of the flesh (Galatians 5:16): Draw near to God; be exposed
to people and situations where God is glorified; pray in the Spirit; listen to
uplifting messages; worship God; fellowship with other believers.
Remember that
other believers are also facing similar struggles (1 Corinthians 10:13). Jesus
was tempted in every way just like us – and that includes sexual temptations
(Hebrews 4:15). Seductive women of ill repute crossed his path as He ministered
but He knew how to handle the situation.
Sure, you
might say, for He is divine. But we too have the power of the Holy Spirit
within us at our disposal. Praise God “the law of the Spirit who gives life has set us free from the law of sin and death” (Romans 8:2). This does not
imply we are sinless but sin’s stranglehold in our lives has been broken.
By being
accountable to someone of the same sex (preferably one more mature in the
faith), our struggles and progress can be shared.
RECOGNISE THE HEAVY PRICE OF SEXUAL SIN
What if we
fall? We simply come to God, ask for forgiveness and begin on a “new” slate
again. But, truth be told, prevention is better than cure. Though God in His
mercy forgives, the consequences of sin often remain.
For David, the
aftermath, as spoken by the prophet Nathan, was brutal: Violence constantly
pursued him, his son Absalom rebelled against him and the “love child” with
Bathsheba died despite the king’s desperate prayer.
Even today,
moral failure continues to leave a trail of destruction in its wake. The
aggrieved spouse finds it difficult to trust the offender. It may result in divorce,
loss of job, position, dignity and honour, financial loss and venereal disease.
A moment of indiscretion, a fling, a one-night stand can result in a lifetime
of regret. Many are constantly wracked with worry that they might have contracted
AIDS.
As the
saying reminds goes: “Sin will take you further than you want to go, keep you longer
than you want to stay and cost you more than what you are willing to pay.”
Repentance does
not necessarily erase the temporal effects of sin. In exchange for fleeting
delights, there is so much at stake, so much we stand to lose.
Is it
worthwhile savouring “forbidden fruit” though apparently it tastes so sweet? #
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Footnotes:
* No fornication, cohabiting, extramarital sex or
homosexuality.
# Eternal consequences
of sexual sin:
“Stolen water is sweet;
food eaten in secret is delicious!
But
little do they know that the dead are there,
that her guests are deep in the realm
of the dead” (Proverbs 9:17-18).
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The above article was first published in Asian
Beacon magazine, Aug 2012, issue 44.4
Related post: YOUTHFUL PASSIONS
