One may win an argument but
it is useless if one loses a long-term relationship.
Ideally, two factions should
be able to engage in healthy debate without any acrimony or ill-feeling*. But once
the more mature party senses the argument is getting out of hand, it is better to
stop the discussion.
The reason is this: Some people tend to be emotional and attack others at a personal level. They are not able to focus on the issue in question.
The reason is this: Some people tend to be emotional and attack others at a personal level. They are not able to focus on the issue in question.
One may win the argument (win
the battle) but it is useless if one loses the long-term relationship (loses the war). Friendship is to be cherished more than a desire to appear wise
or correct.
“But the wisdom that comes
from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive,
full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in
peace raise a harvest of righteousness” (James 3:17-18).
It is important to grasp the
fact that people, in general, tend to be opinionated by virtue of their upbringing
(family or religious background) and exposure to different schools of thought.
An issue can be seen in so
many different ways. People tend to think they are right until another
viewpoint is presented: “The one who states his case first seems right, until the
other comes and examines him” (Proverbs 18:17).
So it’s better to be silent
and listen to opposing viewpoints; not just wait for the other person to stop
talking so that you can shoot your point at him or her. Like a parachute, our
mind works only when it is open.
Paul’s instruction to young
Timothy is noteworthy: “Don’t get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that
only start fights. A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to
everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people. Gently
instruct those who oppose the truth. Perhaps God will change those people’s
hearts, and they will learn the truth” (2 Timothy 2:23-25).
If you sense an argument is
getting nowhere – and, believe me, tempers can become frayed – keep your cool,
smile and walk away as friends while you’re still able to.
* Let us keep in mind this saying: “I disapprove of what
you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.” – Voltaire. We
may have to agree to disagree sometimes.
ReplyDeleteThose who are bankrupt of ideas will attack others at a personal level, instead of focusing on the issue. When they hit below the belt, it reveals their true colours.“But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere” (James 3:17).